Grieving for a Pet

Some people cry after watching a movie. Some grieve when a public figure dies. Most cannot and will never understand that a bond between man and an animal, one which has been with you for more than a decade, has given you reason to smile each and every time your eyes met, that such a bond can sometimes be as strong as any other. In some cases stronger.

There is something very special about the relationship between man and animal. It's pristine, without politics, inhibiting conventions, prejudice, pretence. When your dog smiles at you, it's genuine.

Because we do not share a language, a vocabulary, rules and guidelines that govern behaviour and interaction, learning to understand each other is something wonderful. Immediate grasp is truly a miracle.

Most people have to make do without. Most cannot appreciate the many joys, are unable to experience how very much an inter-species relationship can enrich life.

Due to this general lack of understanding losing a pet can be more painful than necessary, can lead to a feeling of utter isolation, of being alone. And of being wrong.

Today I know that one cannot be more wrong than believing you are wrong in these circumstances. Life is not about the trivial, about consumption, accumulation, about racing rats or being raced. Grieving, coming to terms with a longing that cannot be, adjusting to changes you did not want, all this does not make one a bad person, even if one doesn't fit in suddenly.

Losing an exceptional pet, and my Irish Setter was - to me - exceptional in every respect, can leave a permanent mark on your life. I decided I want, need really, more of the good things in life, none of which you can buy in a shop.

To most people a pet is no more than just that. To me he was someone who gave me a second childhood, someone who learnt as much as he taught, who joined me, allowed me to participate on a long and exciting voyage of discovery and mutual understanding.

When he left me, at first I felt he'd taken all the sparkle with him. He didn't. He just caused me to re-evaluate things, made living more important.